Advice Goddess Radio - Get The Podcast: Dr. Robin Stern On Manipulation-Proofing Yourself
Very interesting show this week with psychologist Dr. Robin Stern, Ph.D. on "gaslighting" and manipulation-proofing yourself against partners who prey on your weaknesses and break you down to get their way. Get the podcast here (listen online or click "play in your default player" to download):
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/amyalkon/2012/02/07/advice-goddess-radio-amy-alkon
Stern is the author of a book, The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life
What your boyfriend's doing to you is "gaslighting," which, unfortunately, only sounds like lighting farts on fire. It's actually insidious emotional abuse that gets its name from the 1944 Ingrid Bergman movie, Gaslight, about an heiress whose husband makes small changes around their home (like making their gas-powered lights flicker), then denies anything's different, making her believe her sanity's gone off its hinges.In a relationship, writes Dr. Robin Stern in The Gaslight Effect, you're being gaslighted when somebody relentlessly pressures you to believe the unbelievable and do what you know you shouldn't. Stern explains that the gaslighter "needs to be right in order to preserve his own sense of self and his sense of having power in the world," while the gaslightee allows him to bully away her sense of reality and self because she fears losing his love and approval. Of course, in your case, it could have something to do with not wanting to think you've wasted five years with "a selfish, manipulative ass." (Fart-play suddenly sounding inviting?)
Here's the movie trailer:
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