Peter, Peter, Placenta-Eater

March 27, 2012

Peter, Peter, Placenta-Eater
Via Kate Coe…gotta love the title…

I Regret Eating My Placenta

It’s a Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting blog item by a woman named Nancy Redd at nytimes.com:

I was a cheerful and healthy new mother. So why did I gobble placenta ground with what the processor mysteriously referred to as “cleansing herbs”? Somehow, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

But in my case, it was a terrible idea. Shortly after my first dose of two pills, I felt jittery and weird. By the next day, after just eight placenta pills, I was in tabloid-worthy meltdown mode, a frightening phase filled with tears and rage. This lasted another couple of awful days before my husband suggested that it wasn’t postpartum mommy madness finally making its appearance, but the hormone-and-goodness-knows-what-else-filled placenta pills.

My husband isn’t a doctor (though he is the son of doctors and has played one on screen), but he was right. After I went cold turkey on the placenta pills, I immediately felt better –exorcised even, of an entity that had willingly left my body but that I had stupidly, and with no medical supervision, scarfed back up.

Motherhood returned to being marvelous, save sleep deprivation. At my six-week checkup, I told my wonderful obstetrician that she should have never let me take my placenta home (medical consent is necessary at most hospitals, and she had somewhat grudgingly plopped my placenta in a to-go plastic bag as soon as I delivered it). While the Internet is teeming with individual pro-placenta stories, they are as anecdotal, and in my case as absurdly off beam, as alien sightings. Eight months later my son and I are fine, but I’m kicking myself for being so gullible without a single shred of proof.

Perhaps one day there will be clinical studies on human placentophagia, and we’ll find out more about the pros and cons of the practice. Possibly we’ll eventually be able to obtain a prescription for placenta processing, to make sure we know what’s really in those “cleansing herbs.”

What do you want to bet she’s one of those who screeches about “Big Pharma” while taking advice from some celebrity placenta-eating coach (or “a so-called celebrity placenta processor,” as she calls the person)?

Nancy Rommelmann found the best comment on the Times’ site:

“Are you being stalked by hyenas? Other animals eat it to eliminate the scent of birth and blood, as a way of protecting their offspring from predators.”

In a word…Eeeuw!

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Right. Man up. Buy the book now on Amazon.com. Or listen to Ronnie tell a story at escaping-from-reality.com.