It’s Soooo Much Effort, Getting Free Advice.
Some people write me to ask for my help, gratis, as if they’re texting their 11-year-old friend. That gets this response from me:
If you can’t take the time to put in all the letters, I can’t be bothered to answer.
Hi i need ur help i realy like a man bt t prblem is his a male escort its
unusual.is ther any chance and if so how d u think i can get him t realy like
me?he gves me discounts a lot off i just meet t talk and we have similar
interests he also phnes.frm Faye.
UPDATE: The woman just wrote me back:
I am typing on my ph.thts t prblem.dnt wory abt replyng in ths world iv learnt
that its cald help your self planet.thanks
Actually, I write long and involved answers to people free of charge, even when their questions will not make my column — when they are polite enough to take the time to write me using whole words.
We are not 11-year-olds and I am not your friend you are telling you’ll be late.
If you can’t be bothered to type out whole words on your phone, the answer isn’t to text me with half words, but to go on a computer and write a polite, fully worded request for advice.
That’s how you help yourself and help me answer your question.