The Adult Dependent

Sunday, November 1, 2009
By Amy Alkon

The Adult Dependent
For how long do you get to suck off your divorced spouse's funds? Jennifer Levitz writes in the WSJ about "The New Art of Alimony":

Paul and Theresa Taylor were married for 17 years. He was an engineer for Boston's public-works department, while she worked in accounting at a publishing company. They had three children, a weekend cottage on the bay and a house in the suburbs, on a leafy street called Cranberry Lane. In 1982, when they got divorced, the split was amicable. She got the family home; he got the second home. Both agreed "to waive any right to past, present or future alimony."

But recently, more than two decades after the divorce, Ms. Taylor, 64, told a Massachusetts judge she had no job, retirement savings or health insurance. Earlier this year, the judge ordered Mr. Taylor, now 68 and remarried, to pay $400 per week to support his ex-wife.

"This is insane," Mr. Taylor says, adding that the payments cut his after-tax pension by more than one-third. "Someone can just come back 25 years later and say, 'My life went down the toilet, and you're doing good--so now I want some of your money'?"

The nature of marriage has changed dramatically over the decades. Women now make up almost half of the American work force. But alimony, a concept enshrined in ancient law, has remained remarkably constant. Now, the idea that a husband should continue to support his wife forever, even after the demise of their marriage--long a bedrock of divorce law--is being called into question. Pressures are mounting to change a practice that some see as outdated and unfair.

A commenter there did say this:

Women are at an extreme disadvantage if they have children. They have often taken time out of their careers to take care of children, and have many obligations to those children for years that most men do not even understand in the least. You can not imagine how much time goes into doctor's, dentists and orthodontists appointments, parent/teacher conferences, after school activities, helping with homework, play dates, birthday parties, baking cookies for some party or fund raiser at school, shopping for clothes, food, etc. for the children, etc. The list is enormous.

But, since 1982? This women had a chance to get her life together, and she didn't take it.

Here's an excerpt that relates from one of my columns:

I'm not saying women shouldn't follow their dreams, but if your dream involves roping off air in art galleries, you'd better have a backup plan, and not one you met at a bar. This starts with acknowledging that, in the real world, "How will you be paying for that, Ma'am?" isn't answered with "I'm living happily ever after!"

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One Response to “The Adult Dependent”

  1. Mike S.

    1982. Un-believable. The new equality.

    #2568

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